


You're my mission

by mouthygirl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Army, Coming Out, F/M, First Time, Internalized Homophobia, Later Smut, Loss of Virginity, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 14:46:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1473631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mouthygirl/pseuds/mouthygirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Buchanan Barnes followed the Barnes' path to work for the Army. He does simply everything to make his parents proud but after he's chosen to work with the legend Steven Rogers, also known as "Captain America", something in his life changes. He doesn't know anymore what he wants: follow the wishes of his homophobic parents or follow his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're my mission

It was silent, there were just the noises of his family dining. James Buchanan Barnes was nervously tapping his fingers on the armrest and waited for someone to say something. He watched as his father, James Buchanan Barnes Senior, folded his napkin and looked up at him. "Son, didn't you want to tell me and your mother about your first day at the new commando?"

James Buchanan felt a pool of sweat trickling in the armpits of his expensive suit he had to wear in the evenings since his parents thought well about things like this. "I think I made a good impression.", he said slowly, carefully choosing the right words not to upset them. He adjusted his cuff-links and tried to focus on his hands.

"You think you made a good impression or did you make a good impression?", his father argued. James Buchanan felt his father's eyes on him. He rubbed the nape of his neck and opened the mouth to say something.  
"No lies, son.", his father said.  
"I did my best, Dad, as always."

He watched his father sitting up and folding his hands behind his neck. James Buchanan slumped his shoulders, not sure what to do.  
"You're going to be the best in this commando, you're going to impress the Captain and you're going to be an important asset for the Army. This is an order, son. Look at it as if it's a mission. Do you understand? Your mother and I are proud of you but we need you to be more than that.", the older man commanded.  
James Buchanan nodded. "Yes, sir." 

He stood up, kissed his mother on the cheek and wished her a good night. "It's not that bad, sweetheart." She smiled at him. "We know what's best for you. Don't you worry."  
He smiled back at her, his right hand behind his back balled in a fist and made his way towards his room. He closed the door behind him and let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. It was one thing to be with only twenty the youngest Seargent in the Army but another to stand up against his own parents.

James Buchanan got out his phone and dialed the number of his best friend. "Tasha? It's me, James Buchanan."  
He heard her chuckling over the line. "Yeah, I know, James. What's wrong?"  
"Nothing's wrong! Why do you think it is?" He paused, knowing that she could hear that he was lying. "It was my first day in the Howling Commando, Tasha. It was horrible. They call me 'Wiener Soldier'."

She immediately started laughing and he could faintly make out the voice of her boyfriend Clint in the background. "They call him what?"  
"Wiener Soldier.", she repeated amused and addressed him again. "What exactly did you do, James?"

He hid his face in his hands for a moment. "I popped a boner.", he answered sarcastically. "No, actually I told them my name, gave them my file and one of them saw that I'm known as the Winter Soldier so he decided the Wiener Soldier sounded much better than that." 

"You're angry.", Natasha stated.  
"No, I'm fucking embarrassed. I blushed like a virgin schoolgirl!"  
There was a long-stretched silence. "You are a virgin, James.", Natasha remarked. "We could have sex, you might feel better afterwards.", she joked, ignoring Clint's protesting voice. " What d'you think?"  
"You have a boyfriend.", he stated.  
"But you'd like to"  
James Buchanan rolled his eyes. "Not really. You're good looking but you're my best friend. And I'm not drunk."

Natasha snorted. "One could think you're -", the redhead started to say.  
"I'm not a fucking fairy!"  
"I wanted to say you're prudish but that's actually better."  
James Buchanan clenched his jaw. "Fuck you.", he hissed. "You know what? I don't want to talk to you anymore, well, not today." 

He tossed his phone onto the couch and screamed, his hands in his hair. He breathed heavily, looking at himself in the reflection of the mirror on his wall. A small sob made it's way out of his lungs and his lips were trembling. James Buchanan rubbed his watering, puffy eyes. 

'Think of your family', he told himself. 'You have to make them proud. Think of their reputation. You're James Buchanan Barnes and not a faggot.' He repeated the last part aloud. "You're James Buchanan Barnes and not a faggot."

He stripped naked, looking at himself in detest and the scar tissue on his left shoulder from when he nearly lost an arm in combat a few months back. He slipped under the covers of his bed and closed his eyes.  
Tomorrow was the first day of his new mission and he couldn't be tired for that.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, in the first chapter no Steve yet. He will appear in the second chapter, I promise.  
> And Bucky is not yet Bucky, still just James Buchanan. 
> 
> I had to do the "Wiener Soldier" thing. I'm not sorry. I'm on tumblr, name's missbucky.


End file.
